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Yesterday…

August 31,1963 in Yokosuka Kenawaka Japan.  A six and a half pound baby girl was born to a ready-made family Handsome Italian America Mario and beautiful German American Rose Marie (Neidig),along with their first-born daughter Darlena Marie, eleven months my senior.  They chose my name after my grandfather Francesco Minnella of Sarradefalco Sicily I am Francisca Maria

A few years later our family is complete with a transfer in the Navy to Philadelphia Pa and the birth of my younger sister RoseMarie Lyn  born unstable with Hymen respiratory Disease. In 1966 her chance for survival was slim. Three days later we were told she would be ok.

As we grew and dad left the Navy we all started the lifelong process of learning who we were and what our place in this world was.  Dad became the Chief of the blood bank in the hospital we now lived near,having moved again to a suburb of Philadelphia.

I remember spending time as a Family, whether we wanted to or not, going to Mass on Sunday.The Sunday drive  which was common, usually ended at a Diner, picnic or Fancy restaurant (whichever the budget allowed.) We would enjoy just driving and singing songs mom and dad taught us, or playing Name that musical. Musicals were family entertainment, Shirley Temple was a tradition.  We loved Shirley Temple Marathons on Sunday afternoon. Unfortunately Dad was the only one with musical talent, training and experience. The rest of us could carry a tune .  We have all gotten better, and my passion for music  started then.

                                                                                                             Dad

We never took Vacations other than weekend or day trips. I gained a love for American Indians from a day trip to a Reservation. I Began my love for American History form a trip to Valley Forge, Smithsonian Institute, Gettysburg and the Philadelphia Historical tours. Day trips to the Jersey Shore became a tradition as well. I still go every year.

As a child I enjoyed playing with Barbie’s, swimming, playing school, playing games like Chase, Freeze tag and Red Rover. We had 3 tv stations one TV and a record player that played 45s. We watch Saturday morning cartoons (because that was the only time they were on) 8:00 pm  was Brady Bunch and Partridge Family Night. The Hardy Boys Mysteries Sunday night and Happy Day Tuesdays.  I remember watching General Hospital everyday after school. Back when Luke and Laura FIRST got together and before Robin Scorpio was born.  As we got a little older we enjoyed watching the neighborhood boys play Street Hockey and skate board. Our neighborhood an apartment complex had many kids our age.  Our parents looked out after our friends and I remember getting a few lectures from Mrs Panza and Mrs Feigel for something we shouldnt have been doing. I also remember my dad having a talking to, to a few of the neighborhood kids too. Best of all it was ok. Nobody got mad. Doors weren’t locked,and neighbors didn’t knock.

I remember summers lasting forever,The Ice Cream Man, the Charles Chip delivery,and milk delivered to your door.

My grandmother lived with us for awhile, years after Grandpa passed away, I miss the smell of the spaghetti sauce cooking, the Canasta card games and watching her crochet like lightning. I remember her teaching me, a love I continue today.

I wanted to be a Hippi or a beatnik. I wanted to be different. I wanted to be seen,it embarrassed my sisters so we weren’t to close. I always felt like the black sheep. I was of average intelligence, gangly thin,and a bad completion in jr high school. I felt alone and depressed annd was looking for approval but later found that if God approve and I liked who I was it didn’t matter.

Got my first part-time job at Mr Angus steakhouse as a server at 14.  In Highschool I also took classes in Cosmetology. I graduated Highschool making honor Roll the last semester of my senior year 1981 ,the one and only time. My first real (after High school) work was for Toys R Us fulltime.

I Married Rick when I was 19. We had 3 children together Erica, Ricky and Alex.  That story is for another time which bring us to my next Blog “Today” (and I will start tomorrow)

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The Rising of a Star

Sabrina CarpenterIf you have ever seen a You Tube video you know the it is but another way for performers to perform.  By way of friend of a friend social networking we have the creation of You Tube Pop Star.

Having been introduced to the voice of young Sabrina Carpenter via Facebook, I immediately became addicted.  She was 10 yrs old when she placed in the top 10 of the Miley Cyrus  World tour http://youtu.be/nQ36K5dE7mA

I began following her on Facebook and Twitter. I watched as she began to perform throughout not just her hometown area (Which happens to be mine as well) but around the country, and recently around the world. http://youtu.be/PkWQ-neUWWQ

At an area performance last year, I had the opportunity to meet and photograph her. My son a year younger than Sabrina was with me. She is a pleasant and friendly child. She took a few minutes to swing on the swing set with Jared. I asked her what the hardest part of being a celebrity was she replied “trying not to say ummmm and Like.”

Later that year she released her first single on iTunes http://youtu.be/UyHnaojWEwE

In the last year Sabrina has appeared in the Just Dance Kids 2 video game from Wii, an episode Law and Order SVU, TV pilot, The upcoming movie Noobz and release 2 additional singles to iTunes. She also appears in a commercial for Miracle Whip http://youtu.be/lR55a-h9fv8

This little spitfire is unstoppable. You can follow her at

Sabrina Carpenter on Facebook

@SabrinaAnnLynn on twitter

http://www.youtube.com/user/sabrinastar99 on you tube

Performances in China and Romania

http://youtu.be/wNxkt5CycNA

http://youtu.be/7-kkQNQB_ZQ

The Effects of Permenant Disability on the Family

When a person becomes Disable it means they are not capable of  working due to  lack of sufficient power, resources, or capacity Medically and/or Mentally.

My personal disability is Rheumatoid Arthritis. The process of obtaining the disability status is Long and difficult. I was diagnosed with the disease when I was 35 yrs old. By that time I had gone to doctor after doctor, no one could tell me what was wrong with me.My Husband and children listened to me complain and cry and go into dep depressions over the pain I had no control over. No medication worked. I was prescribed Oxycontin.

Rheumatoid Arthritis is a auto-immune disease. There is no cure and there is no stopping it.(yet) The white blood cells attack the joints as if they are injured. It caused Joints to inflame and to deteriorate . The bones can fuse giving no mobility in that joint. My hands are most affected. My right hand has one finger that I can use the others are cripple.  My left hand is starting to go as well. I am determined to use my hands. I taught myself to write left-handed. I type I knit and crochet. All these I can do from my bed. Which brings me to the rest of the family. caregivers My husband John, 12 yr old son and my 26 yr old daughter Erica have been my caretakers, as well as my Rheumatologist.

My biggest complaint is ” They don’t understand”.  Well of course they don’t understand. I know rationally that they can not comprehend the pain sometimes agony I  endure. Does that make me feel better? No.

Most caregivers are our family members which leads to some misconceptions. One being that ” If I love you I can make the pain go away, at any cost.”  Another is that they have no rights to be angry about helping. They often feel helpless which at time begets frustration and the feeling of being overwhelmed. Both the caregiver and the disable have feelings of guilt. One for being sick and one for not wanting to always be inconvenienced or even feeling inconvenienced. Though these issues are recognized it does not relieve either party from those feelings of guilt. Bringing further stress to the situation, the cost of being ill is usually a major factor. While the caregiver generally has to take care of the financial issues as well as day-to-day tasks, travel to doctors appointment, and full-time employment it is easy to see that they may feel taken advantage of.

In my situation I do have “good days” when I am able to take care of my own responsibilities, however it is not on a regular basis and completely unpredictable.  My disease isn’t going to ever get better. The damage to my body is permanent. With the correct medication I can function and slow down the progression of the disease. Paying for that medication is a completely different story and another issue for my Husband to feel responsible for.

My son Jared who is 12 years old often has to make dinner and take care of mom. As I write this I realize that we have never talked about all the sacrifices he has made for me. I wonder if he even knows that he has.  That he doesn’t get to play sports in school or take music lessons because I can not commit to any program as I do not know if I will be able to function from day to day.

In general I have found Gods grace and communication between the caregiver, doctors and the disable is what gets us through our days. Some good, some bad. I have learned that appreciation works better than guilt. Love works better than anger and prayer works better than depression.

These are my Caregivers, Son-in -law Mike, Husband John Friend Jim - Above my Children Erica Ricky Alex and Jared

Thank you to all of you that are caregivers…. You are appreciated.

Traditional Marraige in our Society

The following are definition used for Traditional marriage found in the Websters Dictionary. These terms will be used in this manner for this blog.
This blog does not address civil unions or same-sex marriages.  It is not my intention to disregard these unions simply to address them at a later date.
marriage 1 a (1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law
Wife 1 adialect: woman b: a woman acting in a specified capacity —used in combination <fishwife>
2: a female partner in a marriage
Husband 1:a male partner in a marriage

Wedding 1: a marriage ceremony usually with its accompanying festivities : nuptials
2: an act, process, or instance of joining in close association
Now we are all on the same page lets start.

“The color white has long been a symbol of happiness, purity, and yes, even virginity. White is a symbol of being untainted by the world, and Christian brides wanting to wear white should have kept themselves from all impurities as described in the Bible for being pure. You are presenting yourself to your husband as pure and undefiled from the world, and wearing white is a symbol of the purity of which you have kept yourself throughout your life” http://www.zimbio.com/Wedding+Dresses/articles/10/Why+Does+the+Bride+Wear+White

It seems to me in today’s society, that the color white is simply the choice of the Bride as it is completely socially acceptable for the happy couple to cohabitation long before the wedding takes place. I myself chose white. I wanted the Fairy tale wedding. I had a right to it, I deserved it… I had 3 children from a previous marriage and lived with my husband before our wedding. Really? What was I thinking. I personally do not recommend cohabitation . I am happily married and in hindsight living together served no purpose other than self-gratification.  Having become stronger in our Christian Faith John and I agree that  is the one thing we would have changed.

Before 1840 White not the customary choice for a wedding dress. It was adapted after Queen Victoria chose it as the dress she wore at her wedding to Prince Albert.  Red was a popular color choice for wedding dresses before that, but not exclusive.

For me the Church and or Ceremony is the sacred part. I’ve seen weddings performed by Justice of the Peace (my first wedding was preformed that way.) formal and informal, I’ve seen Catholic, Jewish, non denominational ,in church ,at reception site, in a park and on a beach. With each religion comes its own traditions.  Why do we continue to practice traditions when generally it becomes more of a performance than sincerity.

A bouquet for the virgin Mary, To ask for her blessing. The giving away of the Bride, is really letting everyone know Dad and Mom are ok with the couples decision. the unity candle is simply for show. In reality the two in most cases have united long before the ceremony.

The wedding sand ceremony, or unity sand ceremony  Again a formality.

In today’s society the words spoken as Vows have drastically changed words like Honor, Cherish and obey have virtually disappeared. They have been replaced by Love, share and enjoy. They are in for a bit of a shock when they realize Love, share, and enjoy are rewards for Honor Cherish and Obey. Marriage is work. Promising the results of years of work in our vows can only lead to disappointment or worse. It saddens me to see couples looking for the easy way therefore not really committing to anything.

No matter the tradition or ceremony The purpose remains the same to have the union recognized. For some to ask Gods blessings on the couple. Others want Nature or The Universe to recognize the union yet other family and friends recognition is what holds importance

With all the changes society now considers acceptable the Engagement and wedding process has become an extremely expensive show with an after show party. Not to say that attending weddings are not enjoyable. I love to see the dresses, the flowers, the beautiful bridesmaids, the Nervous yet happy Groom. I love to dance with Family you never get to see. Eat the great food (or in some cases not so great). I wait in anticipation for the Brides walk. The toasts by nervous bridesmaids and best men. My favorite part the Daddy Dance. Very few dry eyes. I look at the Mom I know how  she feels. one of the proudest moment of her life.

Weddings will always be exciting and fun,marriage is however the result of two people living through good and bad sickness and health.happy and sad,rich or poor. In any society. I don’t believe you get to make up your own rules and expect to live Happily ever after.No one gets Happily ever after. The best we can Hope for is. Happy together.  The marriage begins after the pomp and circumstance. When the couple go home or in many cases back home and begin their roles as husband and wife, as equal partners.  What happened to united as one?  Doesn’t equal refer to an equation mean consisting of separate parts.

My hope is to see the marriages of today teach the youth of tomorrow that marriage is not optional in the family unit that living together does not replace marriage. It is not taking on the responsibilities required to ensure Happiness.  I believe if the amount of focus the couple put into planning their wedding was used to plan their marriage less would end in divorce.  I am not saying don’t have a wedding.  Don’t have a wedding full of tradition that misrepresents you as a couple. Live the marriage. Experience the wedding. weddings last a day. marriage should last a lifetime.

I would like to dedicate this blog to the Memory of My Uncle David Charles Neidig who passed away last night ,after a Lifetime marriage of over 50 yrs to Aunt Elaine.

In memory of My Uncle David Neidig and his Lifelong Maeeaige to Aunt Elaine

It’s all about ME

  • Hello to all,                                                 26851_1415668120166_1486484865_1133500_2961919_n
  • First  I want to start by saying this Blog is to introduce you to Me and my sense of humor, spelling issues and my incredibly horrific writing ability. I’m Frankie Born Francisca Maria Minnella. That should have  been the first clue. My first name is pronounced Francesca (Fran CHESS Ka) Unlike the actual spelling which sounds like Fran SIS ka. Mom and dad settled that by calling me Frankie.
  • I am first and foremost a child of God and His son Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior.  I am a wife to John (and before that Rick who is the father of my 3 grown children We were married 14 years More about that  later).John and I have one Pre teen son and have been married 13 years.  I have been Married longer in my lifetime the  I have not been. 
  • I was born In Yokosuka  Kenawoka  Japan IN August of 1963, which mathematically makes me 48 yrs. old. I don’t remember much of my very earlier childhood. I know that I had eye surgery and first saw at age 3. Sight is not great now but that’s old age. Sometime before I entered Kindergarten My father got a transfer from the Navy and we landed in Philadelphia PA. This is where most of my memories begin.
  • I am the Middle daughter to Mariodadd and RoseMarie.Mom I Have 2  sisters.  Darlena is 11 months older and Rose Marie is 3 years younger.  As with most middle children I felt a bit neglected, not because I was but because Dar was the oldest so she got “responsibility” and Ro was the Baby so she got everything  she wanted.  I must clarify here that was MY take on the situation and all children see thing through clouded eyes.
  • I basically was a good kid did I smoke yes Cigarettes, tried drinking and Pot but really didn’t like it so It never became an issue. I spent most of my child and young adulthood trying not to “disappoint” anyone. (Good Luck with that) Drove myself crazy.

I married at 19 and had my first miscarriage soon after.  Again I got pregnant Not being over the little one I had lost. (I named her Savannah so that I could in my mind put her to rest. I know she’s waiting to see me and meet the rest of the family.)  In 1985 God blessed me with the most beautiful daughter Erica Marie IMG_52381who felt like the center of my world. The good the bad and the ugly of it all. I had no Idea how to be a mother. My own mother was my rock. She was calm when all I wanted to do was scream.  She always smiled ,I never smiled , She always thought about the good in people I pointed out their weaknesses.

In 1986 I again lost a child to Miscarriage I never knew the gender of our little angel so I chose the name Mikie. If she was a girl she would have been Michelle,a boy would have been Michael.  1987 was a new year with good fortune and a son That we named after his dad. Ricky was born July 3rd002 (2)a  .    A few years later 1990 Alex was born 19746_1347828704223_1486484865_976259_380869_n. Life went on and I took jobs that paid the bills as my husband worked at his Engineering degree and Fulltime employment. There were issues in the marriage equally shared faults (In Hindsight). That is, until I gave up. I threw caution to the wind some time around 1996 and began a life of free will. This in turn ended my Marriage. More about that in later blogs. I now had issues to deal with that a underachiever, insecure, frightened yet determined  35ish woman had to face,who never in her life ever thought she would be dealing with.  Being single, facing bankruptcy, the lost of her home and children and the relationship of a new Man . At this point lets just say everything worked out.  Keep in mind this is just to get to know me the issues themselves can be addressed later. 

My children moved away to live with their dad in Michigan. I moved into an apartment with my boyfriend (now husband) and for 2 years we waited for the divorce. I recieved my divorce in December of 1998 and was Married to John April Of 1999. wedding Jared was born a preemie in Jan 2000 jan.

I Loved and Adored my Mother but I didn’t understand her ,nor she me. She was however there for me every single time I needed her to be. She was a diabetic and I learned from an early age that she got sick a lot. Did I fear getting close ? I believe I did I didn’t want here to die and maybe if I stayed a stones throw away It wouldn’t hurt so much when she past away. Wrong again, we lost mom on June 19,2002. She was 61 yrs. old.27790_1188261686802_1836125303_368918_8040084_n

Today Erica and Husband Mike have given me 2 Grandchildren Georgia Rose and Giovanni Danger.096

Ricky married  Amy and became the stepfather to Lilyamy lily Unfortunately that didn’t work out and they separated a year later. Since Ricky has become a father twice Maria Lynn 037 with Heather and Annabelle RoseBelly with Brianna.

As of yet Alex has not married but lives with Fiancé Kelly. They plan to marry 2013. Kelly and Alex aring

These are the people in my life that mean the most to me. I have Nieces and Nephews Brother and Sister in Laws and of course my Sisters that all mean a great deal as well. Throughout my blogs you will hear more about them.

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and am on disability which is a struggle I deal with daily. I enjoy crafts such as crocheting, Knitting, decoupage, drawing and Painting. Hobbies include traveling and fitness and celebrities but Photography is my favorite. I like Flowers Jewelry coffee,wine, Bon Jovi The sound of a guitar,Flannel shirts, shoes and the beach.   Movies and TV seem to fill a great deal of my time. I play on Facebook and enjoy talking and getting together with old and new friends I Love Sunday Family days and Dinners.

I hate to cook, dislike deep cleaning, cold weather, wool, whiskey, looking old, not being able to sleep, being ignored, lies ,  Tuna casserole , arthritis flare ups and not having my own car. I do not like to depend on other people and I don’t like that I can’t help more people.

My life goal is to spread Gods love in the manner in which he chooses I do so.

So that’s me I have opinions about a lot and if you care to hear it Follow me.

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